My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We need to get me chipped asap
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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