ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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