Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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