Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
