Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize