She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
