its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
