It was confusing and full of hummus
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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