But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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