giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
