I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
