she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
