The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
