Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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