Porn is love you can see.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
