He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
