White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
