nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
