Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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