Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
