He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
this will be a night to untag.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
