Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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