she was so not down for the gang bang
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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