just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I supernannyed him into submission
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