He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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