Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
