the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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