im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
