a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
