I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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