Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.

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(530): View more from California

Those balls look pretty dangerous.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

I honestly don't know what to make of that.

(423): View more from Tennessee

A ham sandwich would be nice.

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(631): View more from New York

She told me I should be a condom model.

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(+61): View more from Australia

We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch

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(+61): View more from Australia

he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms

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(530): View more from California

It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts

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(702): View more from Nevada

I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.

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