No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
