There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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