I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
