it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
