Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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