He uses pillows to masturbate.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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