Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
