yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
tell me about the eggs
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
