If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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