If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
