haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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