My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize