Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
