U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
