I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
