She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
