I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
