is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
