hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
