Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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