The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize