is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
