im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
