i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
