so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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