We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize