I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
