drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i think i have herpe
just one?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
