what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
