I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
